Why you should be single in college
Last week I had my first opportunity to write an assignment for An Focal, the student unions newspaper here at the University of Limerick. One of the subjects that I could choose from where wether or not you should be single during your years in college. That subject slipped through my fingers and I got another equally interesting subject to write about. What that subject is you will be able to see in the next issue of An Focal.
But I still felt obliged to write a text about why you should be single during the third level education years. Mostly because I thought it could be fun. Reading what I wrote have made me realise that this would never get printed. It is kinda funny though.
This is what I wrote:
WHY YOU SHOULD BE SINGLE IN COLLAGE
Written by Eric Johansson
BORING. Your best friend tells you about how he and his beloved stayed in all weekend to watch the re-run of Gilmore Girls. This is the friend who had a life three months ago. Now he just have partner. He tells you how wonderful it was to cuddle up with his partner in bed and to eat ice-cream. His ass ever-expanding as he tells you about commitment, staying in and how it feels to finally have someone. You stopped listening five minutes ago. He has this calm and content look in his eyes, docile like a Hindu cow.
The fact of the matter is that you want what he has; someone to love, trust and that you will not feel strange around. The truth is though that the pursuit of happiness has made you into a better person. You know what they say about things that do not kill you.
You will learn more about yourself with every failed attempt of sexual conquest. The devestation of rejection will pull you deeper down into your self-examination pit. The more you are the destroyed the more you will know about yourself. You will realise that scar-tissue is stronger than regular tissue. You will learn how strong you are.
You will learn to be social, to make new friends. Social skills are like any other skill aquirred through training. This is what your study advisor would label as networking.
You will learn not to try to pick up girls with the line “Why don’t you like me? I am fucking adorable!” screamed at the top of your lungs. This is what your study advisor would label as personal growth.
Some people start to study at the university without knowing how to cook or do their laundery. Are these really the persons you can expect to form serious relationships?
Of course not.
These are the same guys whose first accidental nightly ejaculation has not yet dried up on their sheets. They are so undeveloped that they do not know what love is. They constantly mistake sexual attraction for love. They have not fucked enough to know the difference between sex and making love.
Neither have you. But it is not because of the lack of trying. You have tried with both positive and negative outcomes.
So stay single and see if you can find that special someone or at least continue to develop until you can spot and recognize true love when you see it.
When you do, your ass will start to grow to.
